I've made a couple of round-trips from the West Coast to the East Coast and back again. The last 7 years I've been living in Southern California and after hanging out with some hippies we decided to take a road-trip to see the extraterrestrial life in New Mexico.

We didn't quite make it to Roswell because the old VW bus broke down in Apache Junction. Being from the smoggy city of Los Angeles, the hippies were fascinated with how many stars they could see in the clear Arizona night. They tripped out and decided to set up camp. It started to seem like a cult to me, so I hitched a ride to Phoenix.

I know this story sounds a bit odd and maybe a little fabricated, but it is what my counselor at the Witness Protection Program told me to say if anyone asked. The Feds recommend that you keep certain parts of your old identity, but you should never disclose those things that criminals could use, like my social security number or my mother's maiden name.

If you are a transplant like me, or in the Protection Program like me, or if you're a true AZ native and have lived here in the Valley all your life, unlike me; then you finally found someone you can relate with, and that’s me.

I know you may be thinking when you hear me on 93.3 KDKB; "I think I may have heard this Dick Havoc guy where I used to live or maybe in some city I’ve traveled through. I mean his voice is very unique and his humor is a bit off. It's got to be him." Even though I worked at various radio stations in multiple states and communities, I've been told to tell you that it wasn't me. It was just some imitator of someone that has heard me somewhere else. Oops! I mean, I'm supposed to tell you I grew up on a 40-acre tomato farm in New Jersey. That's the story...

Hit me up on Facebook or Twitter: My Personal Page / KDKB Fan Page / @dickhavoc