"Updates from Shmonty's Social Media" as read on the air today:
Updates from 6:30am
@nachosarah - I jumped when my hair blew into my face cuz I thought it was an octopus and I guess I think they live in parking lots and can fly
@kristygee - If a picture frame doesn't have the word "memories" written on it in giant cursive letters, how do I know what I'm looking at?!
@BillMc7 - I just think it's pretty cool that the road to hell is paved.
Updates from 8:30am
@BlitznBeans - I'm remaking Van Halen's Panama video and need a harness, a hair dryer ten tons of cocaine, no harness and no hair dryer
@TheRooder - reminder that 100% of rodeo accidents involve somone getting what they deserved
@5_oclock_shadow - Remember, not everyone with an eyepatch is a pirate - especially if they have a guide dog.
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See you on the interwebs! -Shmonty