@BizarreLazar - Sure you're new hair looks great! Did nothing to fix your personality, but damn, it does look great!
@TheDailyCramp - Man: I don't have a condom Girl: Its fine I am ready to be a mom Man: Oh sh*t, nevermind I found one.
@Bad_Advice_Dog - Tonight is the night. The night you get rejected for being ugly.
Updates from 8:30am
@TheAnimePolice - Animals are far more terrifying than monsters because A. they are the same thing as monsters and B. they live everywhere around you
@metempsych - when I die place two personal pans (extra pep) over my eyes... hell will know a warrior is coming
@eliyudin - I think all of us had one really good meal of Chinese food, and we just keep ordering it, hoping it'll happen again, but it never does
See you on the interwebs! -Shmonty