"Updates from Shmonty's Social Media" as read on the air today:
Updates from 6:30am
@FilthyRichmond - I taught the kids to sign my name on report cards and detention slips because a good parent knows how to delegate responsibility.
@JoshMalina - I forgot to ween myself off caffeine in anticipation of Yom Kippur. Cataclysmic headache, here I come!
@hipstermermaid - I finished a burrito 5 minutes ago and I wish there was more. I now understand every Taylor Swift song.
Updates from 8:30am
@badbanana - Madonna promises to strip naked if Obama is re-elected. This is what we, in the communications biz, call a mixed message.
@KenJennings - Dance like no one is threatening to call the police if you don't take your boombox and leave the Christian Science Reading Room immediately.
@jessicacabot - Anything following "just a friendly reminder" is going to be bitchy.
See you on the interwebs! -Shmonty