"Updates from Shmonty's Social Media" as read on the air today:
Updates from 6:30am
@MindBlowingFact: 91% of women like men in pink t-shirts. But ironically, 91% of men in pink shirts don't like women.
@Aspersioncast:Your secrets are safe with me, I wasn't even listening to you.
@chopper4jk: If I'm 30 minutes late to anything, I probably just want the alcohol being served afterwards.
Updates from 8:30am
@osigat: A friend got mugged coming out of K-Mart and is devastated. I feel the same way because I had no idea that people shopped there.
@NightTraumaDoc: This intern asked me out for drinks. What the f*ck does she think this is? Greys Anatomy!?
@NikiWithIssues I'm super lazy today. Which is like normal lazy but I'm also wearing a cape.
See you on the interwebs! -Shmonty