Updates from Shmonty's Social Media 03/07/13:
@pan_duh so Bruce Wayne should become the next pope then he can rename it BATICAN CITY HAHAHAHA...HA ok ill stop
@Cali_Kid_Mike My marriage counselor is saying that me tweeting during this meeting is one of the problems.
@leashalette Make no mistake, I may be fairly easy on the eyes, but I have the spirit of Leatherface inside me.
@UncleDuke1969 Maybe she's born with it. Maybe she wouldn't have the damn cold sore if she'd stopped one jello shot earlier and hadn't blown the bouncer.
@DiapersorWine Making a pot of coffee and cleaning the house because OHMYWORD MY KIDS SHOULD BE THROWN IN PRISON.
@LieslVT Spend hours getting screaming baby to sleep. Check on sleeping baby. Can't hear breathing...prod sleeping baby Repeat
@MrAdamBez If there isn't a Chinese millionaire that's changed their name to Cha Ching, then I don't see the point of money.
@leechee420 I dropped a piece of leftover pizza on the kitchen floor. That's the universe bitch slapping it out of my hand and calling me a fatty.
@MollyERA DO GIRLSCOUTS GET FREE COOKIES AND IF SO DO THEY ACCEPT COLLEGE AGE WOMEN AS SCOUTS
@Deconile I got a pair of those shoes with wheels on them so now when I blackout at the bar they can just easily wheel me out like airport luggage.
@DrinkingatWork Woke up refreshed and ready for the day. Also 90 minutes late.
@KKAlThani Sometimes I get take out sushi and eat it at an aquarium just to remind the fish who's boss.
To contribute or just follow along, follow me on Twitter and Facebook.
See you on the interwebs! -Shmonty
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