"Updates from Shmonty's Social Media" as read on the air today:
Updates from 6:30am
@iAmDelFreaky - When the cop asked my name, I lied and answred with, "Otto." I think he would've believed me if I didn't use "Biography" as my last name.
@SuperApple8 - I've spent approximately 2% of my life walking back to the trash can and checking the box to see how long I need to microwave my food.
@roadkill3x - These generic frosted flakes are ooooooookay.
Updates from 9:30am
@CheetohFace - THought to myself, "Maybe kids aren't for me", as I tried to put a diaper on my cat this morning.
@Zwolf666 - Stuck in this elevator with some guy. I don't know him, but he's one of those people who get all freaked out when you tickle 'em.
@katy_baybay - I like my men like I like my coffee. Tied up in a burlap sack and dragged through Columbia behind a donkey.
To contribute or just follow along, follow me on Twitter and Facebook.
See you on the interwebs! -Shmonty