"Updates from Shmonty's Social Media" as read on the air today:
Updates from 6:30am
@CheetohFace: I'm going to start a diary about me and my wife's new diet. Day 8: My wife just threatened to kill me.
@terabear4ever: Dear face wash commercials, nobody splashes their face with water like that. Sincerely, my whole damn bathroom floor is wet
@mishakey: I basically drive like a Mario Kart character but with less banana peels and more cussing.
Updates from 8:30am
@GarreTheFerret: Googled the definition of a will: it’s a dead giveaway
@CloydRivers: Wearin' boots and flannel makes the honeys crave your touch, just like paintin' flames on a truck gives it more horsepowers. It's science.
@joshgondelman: Going to take out some of my anxiety by yelling at sports. I've become everyone's dad!
To contribute or just follow along, follow me on Twitter and Facebook.
See you on the interwebs! -Shmonty