"Updates from Shmonty's Social Media" as read on the air today:
Updates from 6:30
@jimmy_sharpe: I've got 99 problems and counting to a hundred is one.
@pizzajaynow: They don't keep score at pee wee football, but I know my kid has picked the most dandelions and given more hugs than anyone in the league.
@Mikecanrant: Ladies, I'm going to be 127% honest with you. 64% of you have ugly feet. 115% of the 64% don't know it. I'm not very good with percentages.
Updates from 8:30
@JiminyKicksIt: I've never seen a shooting star, but one time my mom rolled up the car window on my head.
@mrtruthandsoul: New followers, two things about me: 1.My best pickup line "those shoes would look best behind your ears". 2.I'm not allowed in Payless Shoes
@Flushing_Nemo: I only slept for four hours last night and my kids have no idea how much their survival depends on them being quiet.
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See you on the interwebs! -Shmonty