"Updates from Shmonty's Social Media" as read on the air today:
Updates from 6:30
@iTomFoolery: I mixed coffee with Red Bull, now I can see the invisible things my kitten pounces on.
@JordyHamrick: The beef between my dog and the vacuum has gotten so bad that neither eat with me at the dinner table anymore.
@1BigMick: This bug I stepped on an hour ago is still slowly crawling around on the floor in circles. Stop being so f*cking dramatic and die.
Updates form 8:30
@shahrouzt: The way my wife and I split up housework is pretty simple. If she makes a mess, she cleans it up. If I make a mess, she cleans it up.
@STEELERS1972: Someone just called me uneducated. What the f*ck does that even mean?
@burntmybagel: I don't always drive the speed limit. But when I do there's drugs in my car.
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See you on the interwebs! -Shmonty