"Updates from Shmonty's Social Media" as read on the air today:
Updates from 6:30am
@Erik_Allen: I'm going to buy a koala bear, and dress it up like an ewok. The feeling you're having right now is called jealousy.
@bill_stiteler: If a couple is walking hand in hand and I can karate chop them apart, their love isn't strong enough.
@trumpetcake: Took the sticker off a banana, put it on my shirt and said, "I hereby deputize you to uphold the law in Bananatown!" Elevator is silent now.
Updates from 8:30am
@GarreTheFerret: My bank sends a text with my balance. It's a nice feature but I didn't think the LOL was necessary.
@SirRector: I ended up killing everyone at the bar, I suck at playing darts.
@JeremyInKC: I hate when other fat guys approach me in public like we're friends. I don't know ou. This isn't a brotherhood I'm proud to be a part of.
To contribute or just follow along, follow me on Twitter and Facebook.
See you on the interwebs! -Shmonty