"Updates from Shmonty's Social Media" as read on the air today:
Updates from 6:30am
@markleggett: Today on "Internet": Some a**hole said something stupid, and everyone has decided to freak out over it non-stop fir the next three days.
@autocorrects: Raisin cookies that look like chocolate chip cookies are the main reason I have trust issues!
@weinerdog4life: Step 1: Write heartfelt letters Step 2: Put in bottles Step 3: Throw at pretty girls Step 4: Talk to police
Updates from 8:30am
@bugbucket: it's so hard being a single mom when you have no kids and are a male teenager.
@MattElGato: Oh me? Just BREAKIN BREAD. Just STACKIN CHEESE. Just creating wealth and expressing it through the use of various food metaphors.
@iRowlf: Whenever you purchase something from a magic shop, you get put on a government list of potential sex offenders.
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See you on the interwebs! -Shmonty