Updates from Shmonty's Social Media 03/04/13:
@Classy_Cassy89 I’ve been playing Life Mistake Bingo and I’ve almost filled my card. Just have bankruptcy and unwanted pregnancy left. Wish me luck!
@koalaslament Forgetting my sunglasses this afternoon has been severely detrimental to both my burning retinas AND my bad boy image.
@BillArrundale If I were a doctor I would begin every consultation with "I never went to medical school but I've seen every episode of Scrubs".
@DanDoofus I'd offer you my humble opinion but all I have left are these freakishly awesome ones.
@0lipops A divorce is when the shipping address and the billing address aren't the same anymore.
@PanettaSexyTime Aunt Jemima is gangsta because she wears her bandanna just like Tupac does.
See you on the interwebs! -Shmonty