Updates from Shmonty's Social Media 02/28/13:
@BakeEmAwayToyz To get with the green movement, Vin Diesel has changed his name to Vin Hybrid.
@Elifcello Blood is thicker than water, but maple syrup is thicker than blood. So pancakes are more important than family. There, I said it.
@Firawesome Nothing is impossible. I know a man that once guessed correctly why a woman was mad at him.
@BillMc7 Ladies, if you've ever accidentally called a fax machine, you know exactly what listening to your stories sounds like to men.
@NikiWithIssues There was a piece of chocolate cake in the fridge and a note "Don't eat me".Now there's an empty plate and a note "Don't tell me what to do"
@DsTwitz If guys were smart they would forget the nightclubs and watch the supermarket for girls buying frozen dinners and cat food.
@HallpassCanada Just saw a really hot woman in 9inch heels pay for a plasma tv with ones.. I could be wrong but i think she might be a librarian.
@HeidiCF8 I'm a girl who fully realizes my place is in the kitchen. That's where my booze is.
@lilgapeach30 Sometimes life throws you a curve ball and you just don't know enough about baseball to finish the metaphor.
@gingerfaced I'll vacuum over something a hundred times before I pick it up and place it back down and try again.
@PanettaSexyTime French Fries are more passionate kissers than the regular fries.
@MrAdamBez Some days I hate getting up for work, but then I think oh well, only another 40 years to go, and that always cheers me up.
To contribute or just follow along, follow me on Twitter and Facebook.
See you on the interwebs! -Shmonty
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