Updates from Shmonty's Social Media 02/21/13:
@qckhd Just farted on everyone elses office chair, while they are at lunch. Being a grown up is fun.
@Cliffalus I'm so happy I'm a fat guy and not a fat girl. I never look at Ryan Reynolds on the cover of a magazine and think "Hey, maybe I should puke"
@Travon Chris Brown faked his community service record? Jeez, now he's trying to beat the system.
@aaronnemo I have grey hairs in my beard at 23 years old. I haven’t even begun a career and I look like retirement is a legitimate option.
@DJBaffler Did RoboCop have balls of steel or were they some type of aluminum alloy?
@GreenEyedJedi Tweet like your ex-boyfriend's crazy ex-girlfriend isn't reading.
See you on the interwebs! -Shmonty