Updates from Shmonty's Social Media 02/20/13:
@mewritesgood I'm not an expert on body language, but I'm assuming by the way you're chasing me with a knife that you are upset with something I said/did?
@rachelmillman if you ever want to witness an Oscar worthy performance, ask any person from twitter their follower count and watch them pretend to not know
@dreamthievin My boss called me self-absorbed in my performance review. When the hell did I get a job??
@Parentpains My wife looks happy, she must be fantasizing about my death again.
@Anais_Lea90 Had to tell a kid to quit googling pictures of 'piles of poo' today in case you thought 'middle school teacher' was some kinda glamorous gig
@CYComedy I put my pants on just like everybody else who has a wife that tells him how to put his pants on.
See you on the interwebs! -Shmonty