Updates from Shmonty's Social Media:
@alizmay Whenever someone asks how you are just say you're great because they don't really care.
@KayRants Every time I get an eyelash in my eye, I'm reminded of how quickly I would die in the wild.
@weinerdog4life I hate when people talk to me while I'm using the restroom, the other day, this guy was all like "Sir this is a display model at Home Depot"
@HJBenjamin What does God call his condoms? Immaculate Protection
@hipstermermaid Never discuss religion, politics or Ugg boots.
@prodigalsam Nothing is more frightening than accidentally making eye contact with a guy who runs a mall kiosk.
See you on the interwebs! -Shmonty