"Updates from Shmonty's Social Media" as read on the air today:
Updates from 6:30am
@hitbycars Whenever I use a public restroom, I always narrate what I'm doing to let other people in the room know that I'm in control.
@bazecraze No one can make you feel inferior without your consent, stupid.
@diaper_wolf is a local goose terrorizing YOU? you're not alone and there is support available. reach out.
Updates from 9:30am
@Squirreljustice If you refer to your pets as fur babies, I'll crane kick you in the gunt before you get to the verb of your sentence.
@DJRotaryRachel Did you make out with a stranger at Pink Floyd LaserDome in 1987? I have your lighter.
@DamienFahey Nothing screams crazy more than the Facebook friend who changes their profile picture every other day.
See you on the interwebs! -Shmonty