@1evilidiot It's funny when you tell someone that you don't like people, they always think you mean other people.
@SortaBadass Probably the worst part about being a penguin is after you're in an argument, you'll try to waddle away angrily but still look adorably cute
@HeidiCF8 Making everyone happy is impossible. But pissing them off is a piece of cake. I like cake.
Updates from 9:30am
@loribuckmajor Oh you never curse on Twitter? I bet u never played doctor or stole money or smoked cigarettes or did drugs or stabbed someone either.
@MyHairyLife Wife wants me to burn some CDs so now I'll be up all night working on a time machine to take me back to 2001.
@Mikecanrant No lady, I am not picking my nose. I am pointing at my brain so you know that I am not only devastatingly handsome, but also smart and stuff